The Next Big Thing

Every marketing type in a global conglomerate wishes they can be the architect of the next killer app. They won’t. history shows that killer apps are the domain of geeks in sheds with too much knowledge of servers and such shit.

Until then, the marketing folk are happy to sit back in velour covered cheapo plastic chairs, hands clasped behind heads, pretending they are important by applying the number one rule in being important; blue sky thinking. Devising ever more pointless projects to vainly attempt to ‘add value’, or to be blunt, make money out of something that no one wants.

They have some sort of inferior complex, so compensate by talking bollocks about something that already exists and didn’t work in the first place. Big ideas by little men. Talentless men.

Yeah, sure, we all like to have a laugh at the geeky girlfriendless twonks that founded Google, Facebook et al, but, and it’s a big but… they were unpretentious in their will to accomplish their goals. They had raw talent.

Middle aged men with a mid life crisis unfortunately have the (relative) power with many tech companies to come up with barmy ideas that persuades higher powers to ‘run with it’. When any young person with two brain cells to rub together could tell them in short shift, that ‘it ain’t gonna work grandad’. They would be right, but unfortunately this may be seen as negative, anti-constructive, not bouncing the ball, anti free-thinking, and any other load of boardroom shite that would be a good description.

Hundreds of man hours and thousands of pounds later, the powers at be will eventually come to the same conclusion as the oik that would have said ‘nahh mate, won’t work’ in a few seconds.

So, what IS the next big thing? Well, no one knows, that’s the point of them.